In our society, sexuality is often a taboo subject, surrounded by many expectations. Yet it’s an essential aspect of our well-being and intimacy. Learning to let go when we have sex can help us experience more fulfilling and authentic moments. Here are seven tips on how to do just that.
1. Become aware of your blocks and limiting beliefs
First of all, take the time to take stock of your relationship with sexuality and your beliefs about it. Past experiences and the messages conveyed by our environment and society can give rise to fears and preconceived ideas that inhibit our ability to let go. Identify these obstacles and free yourself from them.
Ask yourself what might be preventing you from giving yourself over fully during sex. Is it fear of judgment, lack of self-confidence, a painful personal history? This will help you put words to these blocks and understand them better.
B. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones
Once you’ve identified your limiting beliefs, try to replace them with more constructive, empowering thoughts. For example, if you think sexuality is a source of anxiety, try focusing on the positive aspects it can bring, such as pleasure and relaxation.
2. Cultivate communication with your partner
Communication is a key element in letting go of sexuality. It creates a climate of trust and mutual understanding between partners. So don’t hesitate to talk openly with your partner about your desires, your limits and any apprehensions you may have.
A. Express your feelings without judgment
Tell your partner how you feel, both emotionally and physically, without fear of being judged. Explain your needs calmly and expect to receive respectful and caring reactions in return.
B. Taking the other person’s wishes into account
Listening to your partner’s needs and desires fosters a sense of complicity and equality that makes it much easier to let go. Be attentive to your partner’s verbal and non-verbal signals, and show empathy and understanding.
3. Focus on sensations rather than performance
One of the major obstacles to letting go of sexuality is often the pressure to perform. To overcome this, try to focus on the sensations and emotions you feel, rather than on achieving a specific goal (orgasm, length of intercourse, etc.).
A. Practicing mindfulness
Mindfulness is about being present in the moment and paying careful attention to your sensations. Applied to sexuality, this practice can help you overcome parasitic thoughts and reconnect with your body and your pleasure.
B. Exploring new practices
To get out of your routine and broaden your sexual horizons, don’t hesitate to experiment with new things with your partner: positions, erotic games, massages… The important thing is to remain open and curious.
4. Take care of your body and mind
A healthy mind in a healthy body is an adage that takes on its full meaning when it comes to sexuality. Take the time to pamper your body and mind to boost your self-confidence and your ability to let go.
A. Adopt a healthy lifestyle
A balanced diet, regular physical activity and a good night’s sleep all contribute to a fulfilling sex life. You should also take the time to relax and refocus using relaxation techniques such as meditation or yoga.
B. Give importance to personal pleasure
Masturbation is an excellent way of getting to know your body better and developing your self-confidence. Don’t hesitate to give yourself moments of solo intimacy to explore your erogenous zones and fantasies.
5. Create an atmosphere conducive to relaxation and pleasure
The environment in which you have sex can greatly influence your ability to let go. To create a relaxing and sensual atmosphere, take care to choose a comfortable, quiet place, free from distractions (cell phones, TV…).
A. Use your five senses
Stimulate your senses and those of your partner by playing with scents (essential oils, scented candles), soft music, subdued lighting, textures (silky bed linen) and flavors (natural aphrodisiacs, naughty games with food…).
B. Take your time
Slow down and let yourself be guided by your desires and those of your partner. Foreplay is essential to get everyone ready for the experience.
6. Accept that you’re not in control
Letting go means relinquishing control and accepting that things don’t always go according to plan. In sexuality, this means accepting the unexpected (awkward caresses, laughter, various emotions…) without calling shared intimacy into question.
A. Cultivating kindness towards yourself and your partner
Learn to forgive your own mistakes, and to see those of your partner as an opportunity to learn and grow together. Kindness and tolerance are essential values when it comes to letting go of sexuality.
B. Remember that every relationship is unique
Every sexual relationship is different, just like every couple and every individual. Don’t try to reproduce an ideal model or compare your experience with that of others, but rather appreciate the uniqueness of your intimate moments.
7. Call in a professional if you need to
If, despite all your efforts, you’re still having trouble letting go of your sexuality, don’t hesitate to consult a specialist: sex therapist, psychologist, couples therapist… These professionals are there to help you overcome your blockages and regain a harmonious sexual balance.